Y'ello! I'm an 19 yo adult white lesbian who uses any pronouns. I am a Doctor Who, Good Omens, and AT4W fan happy to yell about any of the above. I am a learning intersectional feminist, and won't interact with either TERFS or SWERFS. All systemic racism must be dismantled and removed from society. As a rule, I'd prefer not to interact with exclusionists for the LGBTQIAA+ community. I refuse to hold any conversation with nazis, pedophiles, racists, bigots or homophobes, and find their beliefs abhorrent. I hope you have a great rest of the day! [Header ID: An edited comic by lotaddd on r/antifastonetoss depicting two white butch lesbian women in two separate comic panels. One woman says "I love you to the moon and back" and the other woman says "I love you this much" while holding out her hands.] [Icon ID: A selfie of the blog owner with a short blond cut and a plain brown shirt, cut off at the shoulders. End ID]
“i wish i could do something 😔 / i wish the wga had a kickstarter or a gofundme, i would throw money at it” good news! it’s amazing how you can literally go onto the wga strike website or the wgawest linktree from their twitter and find links to support writers and other workers affected by the strike
I wanna be the Rodney Dangerfield of trans woman dick jokes, I wanna stand up on stage and be like “I just get dicks respected.”
Wearing the same bad suit and tugging my necktie down like “ah, my wife left me, y'know. Well they didn’t leave me, they left their gender, we’re still married I just don’t got no wife anymore! I can’t blame them though, can’t blame em, after all, I’m not the man they married.”
I think Rodney would appreciate transgender jokes.
“This gig, this gig such disrespect they pay peanuts they said they pay in exposure, I said that’s indecent! All kinds a disrespect, I said fine I’ll get paid in exposure and got a job as an adult dancer. Fired my first night, turns out they meant dance around the pole on stage not swing around the pole in my thong. I can’t get any respect I tell ya.”
“It’s rough out there, the economy is rough. They say they only constants are death and taxes just to let you know what you got to look forward to, that’s how rough it is. Just my luck, my name died and I still gotta pay taxes! No respect at all.”
“They named me after my dad but he kept sayin I took after my mother. I called him up like hey dad, peer pressure really works! He was supportive though real supportive dad but even supportive y'know you get presents just like your parents’ idea of what you want. I liked dinosaurs, got dinosaur underwear for a year. Now my dad sends me dinosaur stripper heels every birthday. He tries, the guy.”
“I used to work at a bookstore, y'know, they got a self-help book for everything, find the right woman this, find yourself that. Look at me, I’m doing both at once. But listen, these guys all trying to sell ya self improvement. Buddy, I need self renovation. I found eight books on downstairs remodeling but lemme tell ya it wasn’t what I hoped for. I can’t catch a break. I got a ventriloquism book to throw my voice but it just came back. No help at all.”
“My best friend grew up in Cockeysville, then he moved to Gelding Drive. I’m like buddy, you’re over there livin my dream. Great pal, has a whole great polyamory thing goin y'know? He grew up and got a house with a yard and a dog and a white picket fence and a kid and two and a half wives. It’s not easy bein polyamorous lemme tell ya. You go on dating sites they wanna know if you’re lookin for long term short term, I’m like hey right now I’m lookin for anyone who can organize a day planner!”
“It’s rough, this city is so rough you see the potholes out there? I cut a fart while I’m driving it sounds like a helicopter takin off. Even the mechanics can’t help, the other day in the shop he was like hey for a grand this car could look and feel new! I asked yeah what about me and he said I don’t do antiques. The doctor’s no better, I went in the office like hey doc, how’s it look down there. She said, gimme a minute, I never worked on one a these models before.”
I’m too open, always talkin about sex and dicks, but I got no filter, see? The other day at a bar someone said “bottoms up!” so I climbed onto the pool table an asked where she wants me. That’s okay, y'know, bein a slut is the best job ever. I get ta work lyin down and everyone calls me princess.
I’m clumsy too, you wouldn’t believe it. I punched myself in the face tryin to open a jar of pickles. I almost died cutting myself with my own nails tryin to brush my teeth. I’m so clumsy OSHA put out a restraining order on me, I’m not allowed within 50 feet of heavy machinery. I’m so clumsy my doctors won’t stop askin me if I feel safe at home.
cipher, i am literally begging you to put together a burlesque act where you strip out of your dangerfield layers while telling these jokes.
Okay so first, I have got my full Randy Dangerfield costume together already, I just need to practice a bit and try to figure out how the open mic stuff works because it’s so confusing. Second, if we can afford it, my nonbinary wife wants to do burlesque lessons together. So.
“It’s tough bein trans out there, real tough. We were so poor when we came out I hadda get a hand me down gender. My wife was like, I’m not using mine anyway, have it. You know, it’s a little dinged up, needs a little polish and bondo, but it’s a classic. So now my agender wife don’t got a gender no more. Well, there’s a gender on their drivers license, but they’re non-practicing.”
“Comin out is tough too. I was real nervous tellin my dad because he’s kinda old, conservative. I was like dad I’m a woman and he goes Yeah that happens. Didn’t even pause his dinner or nothing. I’m like gee dad I was worried I’d be a disappointment or something and he’s like well I wish you were a lawyer but whatever makes you happy.”
“Polyamory ain’t all it’s cracked up to be either, I tell ya, I got girlfriends in different time zones and enough money for half a bus pass. I tried to mail myself but the prices were still ridiculous. C'mon buddy, cut me a break, I thought you charged less for small packages.”
“Bein a trans woman isn’t easy, lemme tell ya there’s stigma bein trans, everyone judges how I look. I can’t catch a break with it, I complain to my partner, they’re like, I thought you liked when I stigma cock in your mouth. Like, okay no I mean I’m stigmatized and my partner they go like okay I guess we can try it in the eyes too, if you want.”
“I was never that well endowed, ya know, not on my best day, and you add a few years of HRT in lemme tell ya, it’s like a retractable measuring tape down there. The other day I went to my doctor like Doc, I said, whaddaya think bottom surgery’s gonna cost me. He looked down and he said lemme refer you to a dermatologist for pimple removal.”
Sex workers are amazing, I tell ya, I tried it but I just wasn’t organized enough. I asked a friend, they said “Have you tried spreadsheets?” Are you kidding, spread sheets is where the whole thing started. Then they said, no spreadsheets on a computer but how’m I supposed to use the webcam then? It’s not for me, that’s okay, I guess all my sex these days is between me, my partners, and the NSA.
I was talkin to my wife the other day I said, the only way I’m getting bottom surgery is under socialism. They said why, because of redistribution of wealth? I says no, because it’s redistribution of penis. They said what’re ya talkin about you’re already redistributin your penis to half the trans community.
Polyamory’s great though, it’s wonderful to have other people to lean on. One time I went in a coma. My wife was going outta her mind til she could find one of my partners to make a “girlfriend in a coma” joke with. I love em all, they’re great, all my partners, they take such good care of me, they do so much they unionized about it. Now anytime we fuck I get fined by the NLRB for union busting.
Dating still ain’t easy though, lemme tell ya. I said I gotta great sense of humor, I get a message telling me that’s good coz I look like a joke. But no, I do alright. I just got my name changed to Twenty Bucks, now I get passed around between every trans woman on the internet.
*covered in blood* i will…. *trembling* CHOOSE TO BE KIND… *in pain* i will be… NICE to others… *wanting to kill* i will see good in EVERYONE *yelding a knife* i will NOT be like those who hurt me… *screaming* i will be BETTER than who i was…
Tumblr is probably auto flagging shit based off of one of their famously bad algorithms but I’ve been seeing an uptick in community labels recently and I just want to say if you personally flag anyone else’s posts you are literaly a cop and everyone else hates you. Delete your blog
rose tyler hated her shitty job, wore £1 mascara, charity shop sweatpants, boxed hair bleach, couldn’t keep her room clean, hated rich people, was called a slag by the queen, constantly chat shit about her mum, slapped a guy that made her mum cry, astonished herself when she could do maths, 19 year old runaway, and the most beautiful woman on my tv 2005 - 2006
she rewrote her own history so she could hold her dad as he died and realigned the stars so she could save the doctor
I know I’ve said something similar before but like.
People are all “uwu we shouldn’t let kids do hormone blockers or have surgeries because children can’t consent to that!” and like. Aside from the fact that no one is doing gender affirming procedures on kids.
I would be willing to bet my left tit that these are the EXACT same fucks who would have given me shit from middle to high school and into college about getting laser hair removal, about my voice change from a soprano to an alto (not severe but noticeable, as I was a singer), who said I should amputate my healthy stomach so I could be more thin and “ladylike”, who gave me ENDLESS shit for my body hair, including facial hair, who demanded I shave and pluck and squeeze myself into clothes and an image that didn’t fit me and who ENCOURAGED me to take medications and have procedures that would permanently alter (and in the case of weight loss surgery? Damage, most likely) my body to fit what THEY thought I should be.
All because I have PCOS. My body is not what people expect of a cis woman’s body.
Gee. It’s almost like it has nothing to do with kids not consenting, and EVERYTHING to do with these chucklefucks wanting to deny trans kids access to life-saving care AND wanting to force intersex kids into medical treatment that they, by their own logic, cannot consent to.
But that’s all fine when they’re making us intersex folks “normal”, huh?
